today is Tuesday June 2013
marah, kecewa, sedih semua bercampur jadi satu hari ini....i fall in love and i did my best to make this person attract me but i'm so disappointed when the word appear for the reply text
' ngrtiin gw lah.. gw ga mau d ganggu... soal masalah uang yg saya pinjam nanti d ganti...'
itu puncak kemarahan dia setelah beberapa hari tidak ada kabar dan beberapa kali saya coba hubungi. kaget, bingung dan tidak mengerti kenapa dia begitu emosi dan marah...kenapa?? selalu ada pertanyaan itu dari kepala. dan inilah jawaban yg dia berikan
'maaf. saya bukan teman yg baik buat anda. saya hanya manusia biasa. anda terlalu baik cr teman yg sama2 baik dan anda bisa. saya hanya tidak mau anda sakit hati'
well its too late dear, you just crushed my heart into pieces dengan statement itu. we discuss this million times tapi again, muncul lagi isu ini.. i still remember our first met dan bagaimana dia yg so enthusiast about kehidupan barunya di sini. perfect, menawan, dengan senyum sempurna. my kinda type. hingga pada suatu saat saya masuk kehidupan dia terlalu dalam got into the trouble. semuanya saya jalanin dengan semangat, dan selalu beri motivasi...selalu saja memberi semangat dan menemaninya.
ahh sudahlah, i was falling in love. i adore the person. but i was wrong... i made mistakes. in the end (again) ya sudah lah it happened
25.6.13
16.6.13
Note for myself
sunday, 16 june 2013
at home sembari mendengarkan Rumor - Butiran debu.
i never felt so much down like this before. tapi sebetulnya memang semua salah aku kok,
i remember last april 21, i met a young fine gentleman in progress. known him from a friend site. and i encourage myself to ask him out for a casual date. and i was impressed, it was sparkle at the first sight. yes....i was in love, i had a crush on him. he introduced himself as Yusak (which turns out to be a cover name hehehe) a sundanese who just arrived in Jogja and tried his luck to work in a hotel. i felt sincerely when i look into his eyes. i have never had a doubt that he would harm me further.....i was in love and i really dont want to loose him the way i lost dek mbem the last time.
but then again, i really dont know how i should process it. all that i have thought is how to propose him. and maybe this is the main reason why i am so hurt. we spent time together, we shared stories and we sticked together. i tried my best to be the best boyfriend...and yes, again i thought i tried too hard to get him. i really love him the way what the world have taught me about. and i really aware that Jesus Christ in Heaven won't say yes to my prayer for him.
until today. i really realized that he is so special that i should never push anything to him. i love him and that is why i have to quit expecting for some more....i dont want to end up chasing status to be his boyfriend.if it should hurt, then let me be the one to feel it.... i dont know what will happen later and how will this so-called-relationship would be but i believe that God brings way for me to learn my lesson. i love you dek.....but if that keep us apart, i am willing to let it go.
at home sembari mendengarkan Rumor - Butiran debu.
i never felt so much down like this before. tapi sebetulnya memang semua salah aku kok,
i remember last april 21, i met a young fine gentleman in progress. known him from a friend site. and i encourage myself to ask him out for a casual date. and i was impressed, it was sparkle at the first sight. yes....i was in love, i had a crush on him. he introduced himself as Yusak (which turns out to be a cover name hehehe) a sundanese who just arrived in Jogja and tried his luck to work in a hotel. i felt sincerely when i look into his eyes. i have never had a doubt that he would harm me further.....i was in love and i really dont want to loose him the way i lost dek mbem the last time.
but then again, i really dont know how i should process it. all that i have thought is how to propose him. and maybe this is the main reason why i am so hurt. we spent time together, we shared stories and we sticked together. i tried my best to be the best boyfriend...and yes, again i thought i tried too hard to get him. i really love him the way what the world have taught me about. and i really aware that Jesus Christ in Heaven won't say yes to my prayer for him.
until today. i really realized that he is so special that i should never push anything to him. i love him and that is why i have to quit expecting for some more....i dont want to end up chasing status to be his boyfriend.if it should hurt, then let me be the one to feel it.... i dont know what will happen later and how will this so-called-relationship would be but i believe that God brings way for me to learn my lesson. i love you dek.....but if that keep us apart, i am willing to let it go.
11.3.13
#YummyTrail no.1
Yogyakarta 11 Maret 2013
pagi ini saya bangun sedikit lebih pagi untuk belanja di pasar, karena Mama udah ada appointment ke Lab buat periksa kesehatan. cuaca hari ini tadinya mendung dengan sedikit gerimis ringan cuman pas kita pulang ke rumah mendadak gerimisnya menjadi deras, alhasil we're so wet wet wet
ok, we decided to take mommy together to the clinic near our house for lab check-up. it was rain so bad (even after i got home, wrote this post and its still raining). not took a long time to wait, akhirnya mum selesai check-up nya and we decided to have something for breakfast. and our choice was on Soto and i know just the right place to eat.
yes, this is it. located in Lempuyangan district, not very far from pasar lempuyangan and lempuyangan railway station, this is my 1st destination for the best Soto Ayam in town
why it ia ao apecial for me?
well not only Soto Ayam to be found here but also its other friends. name them all, Tahu bacem, sate jerohan ayam, lentok (sort of perkedel made from cassava), sate telur puyuh, aneka krupuk, even ayam goreng.....well this is what i call one stop eating service hahahaha
see it by yourself
looks yummy right?
if you happen in town, try to go for it. remember its in Jl. Lempuyangan (a small outlet on the left of the street, if you are from north). For me, Soto is the best breakfast, so better to have it in the morning while it still hot. bon appetite mes amis!!
ok, we decided to take mommy together to the clinic near our house for lab check-up. it was rain so bad (even after i got home, wrote this post and its still raining). not took a long time to wait, akhirnya mum selesai check-up nya and we decided to have something for breakfast. and our choice was on Soto and i know just the right place to eat.
why it ia ao apecial for me?
well not only Soto Ayam to be found here but also its other friends. name them all, Tahu bacem, sate jerohan ayam, lentok (sort of perkedel made from cassava), sate telur puyuh, aneka krupuk, even ayam goreng.....well this is what i call one stop eating service hahahaha
see it by yourself
if you happen in town, try to go for it. remember its in Jl. Lempuyangan (a small outlet on the left of the street, if you are from north). For me, Soto is the best breakfast, so better to have it in the morning while it still hot. bon appetite mes amis!!
22.2.13
fall in love at the first time
dear J
being in love is definitely one of the greatest feeling ever experienced. yes, and after waiting for several years to move on (which i doubted whether i can or willing to move on my past), the feeling returns back and takes it place in my heart.
#dia, the most vulnerable yet perfect in my own vision. after knowing this God's creation for some times, and several times made disappointment for telling lies (it was beyond my control #mbem), finally i got the chance to meet the one that will always be my precious.
i was scared (too scared i guess) when i decided to go on my own to the Capital J. but, it turned out that all the past flashed by me. the first feeling to work far from hometown, to be independent. i cried, yet i felt happy at the same time. Friday, a day after what so-called Valentine's Day, at half past ten in the evening, i left for my dream using train.
during the journey, i tried to sleep, to rest my body and soul, to dream about you once again .. but still i was afraid. i tried my best not to expect more than i could deal. but yes...i fell asleep that night, dreaming bout #dia. i really wish....
and finally...i arrived at Gambir train station at around half past six in the morning. fresh air, little activity since it was weekend. but the crowd was already filled in the station..i text #dia, one time, two time, three time,..still no answer. was it a false alarm? were we never meant to be? hopeless, but i wasn't at home, i was in Jakarta, the land of all dreams (in Indonesia0 where people struggle in their top performance to reach their dream. So was I. I walked out the station, bought a TJ busway ticket and waited until my bus arrived and took me on the journey which i won't forget for the rest of my life...
i stopped at the main coridor, Harmoni shelter when suddenly PING!!!
a new message came ... from #dia. oh my God, were i dreaming? tried to pinch my own hand but yes..i wasn't dreaming. yes, it was #dia...the one that makes my heart beat fast. someone from the #Tjap family. i was so surprised, i kept smiling to my cellph. people were so dress up and i was like messy and awful. i replied one by one of the messages, sat down very nice and watched those people walked, passed by or perhaps ran towards their dream...Billionaire! but those scenery won't stop me from getting news from #dia. #dia asked me to wait at the shelter. "YES....i will wait for you!" and i did.
i tried to notice those faces....full of dreams (or hates) tried to scan if there were #dia among them...time passed by when suddenly ........... #dia, a face that i familiar with, walked by and sit a bit far from mine.."saya sudah di harmoni, mas ada dimana?" blushed, you were here for me? i just wanted to scream like the drama i've seen, to call your name and hug you there..but my mind returned back to reality..do you want someone else to look you weirdly top to toe?? okay, so i held myself and smiled on him..."coba tengok sebelah kanan kamu deh,i m here smiling for you" #dia, with skin like a porcelain, i was scared to break, so keep a distance a bit, but yes, my #dia has turned into #you the moment i saw his eyes...i'm foreverly yours.
the very unforgettable moment with #you. Pasar baru-lebak bulus-blok m and ended up cuddling and smooching all night long..i knew that it was too much too ask for more, so i prayed and gave thanks. when i saw your eyes, you calm me down. when i held you in my warm, you comfort me with your "baby bear smile' when i am with you, my world stops for awhile...yes...i love you so much!
but times has come for me to leave. back home, do all the routines back..but #you know that i will always be there for #you .... a kiss sealed our last day together. I love you before, right now, and the other days afterwards.
(dedicated for #you ... one that grab my attention and love me to the fullest)
being in love is definitely one of the greatest feeling ever experienced. yes, and after waiting for several years to move on (which i doubted whether i can or willing to move on my past), the feeling returns back and takes it place in my heart.
#dia, the most vulnerable yet perfect in my own vision. after knowing this God's creation for some times, and several times made disappointment for telling lies (it was beyond my control #mbem), finally i got the chance to meet the one that will always be my precious.
i was scared (too scared i guess) when i decided to go on my own to the Capital J. but, it turned out that all the past flashed by me. the first feeling to work far from hometown, to be independent. i cried, yet i felt happy at the same time. Friday, a day after what so-called Valentine's Day, at half past ten in the evening, i left for my dream using train.
during the journey, i tried to sleep, to rest my body and soul, to dream about you once again .. but still i was afraid. i tried my best not to expect more than i could deal. but yes...i fell asleep that night, dreaming bout #dia. i really wish....
and finally...i arrived at Gambir train station at around half past six in the morning. fresh air, little activity since it was weekend. but the crowd was already filled in the station..i text #dia, one time, two time, three time,..still no answer. was it a false alarm? were we never meant to be? hopeless, but i wasn't at home, i was in Jakarta, the land of all dreams (in Indonesia0 where people struggle in their top performance to reach their dream. So was I. I walked out the station, bought a TJ busway ticket and waited until my bus arrived and took me on the journey which i won't forget for the rest of my life...
i stopped at the main coridor, Harmoni shelter when suddenly PING!!!
a new message came ... from #dia. oh my God, were i dreaming? tried to pinch my own hand but yes..i wasn't dreaming. yes, it was #dia...the one that makes my heart beat fast. someone from the #Tjap family. i was so surprised, i kept smiling to my cellph. people were so dress up and i was like messy and awful. i replied one by one of the messages, sat down very nice and watched those people walked, passed by or perhaps ran towards their dream...Billionaire! but those scenery won't stop me from getting news from #dia. #dia asked me to wait at the shelter. "YES....i will wait for you!" and i did.
i tried to notice those faces....full of dreams (or hates) tried to scan if there were #dia among them...time passed by when suddenly ........... #dia, a face that i familiar with, walked by and sit a bit far from mine.."saya sudah di harmoni, mas ada dimana?" blushed, you were here for me? i just wanted to scream like the drama i've seen, to call your name and hug you there..but my mind returned back to reality..do you want someone else to look you weirdly top to toe?? okay, so i held myself and smiled on him..."coba tengok sebelah kanan kamu deh,i m here smiling for you" #dia, with skin like a porcelain, i was scared to break, so keep a distance a bit, but yes, my #dia has turned into #you the moment i saw his eyes...i'm foreverly yours.
the very unforgettable moment with #you. Pasar baru-lebak bulus-blok m and ended up cuddling and smooching all night long..i knew that it was too much too ask for more, so i prayed and gave thanks. when i saw your eyes, you calm me down. when i held you in my warm, you comfort me with your "baby bear smile' when i am with you, my world stops for awhile...yes...i love you so much!
but times has come for me to leave. back home, do all the routines back..but #you know that i will always be there for #you .... a kiss sealed our last day together. I love you before, right now, and the other days afterwards.
(dedicated for #you ... one that grab my attention and love me to the fullest)
30.1.13
Merindukan mu.....
If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air
I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
If there was a way that I could make you understand
But how do you expect me
To live alone with just me?
'Cause my world revolves around you It's so hard for me to breathe
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
There's no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon' be without me?
If you ain't here I just can't breathe
There's no air
I walk, I ran, I jump, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
With no gravity to hold me down for real
But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath but I survived
I don't how but I don't even care
So how do you expect me To live alone with just me?
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
There's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon' be without me?
If you ain't here I just can't breathe
There's no air, no air
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air
I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
If there was a way that I could make you understand
But how do you expect me
To live alone with just me?
'Cause my world revolves around you It's so hard for me to breathe
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
There's no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon' be without me?
If you ain't here I just can't breathe
There's no air
I walk, I ran, I jump, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
With no gravity to hold me down for real
But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath but I survived
I don't how but I don't even care
So how do you expect me To live alone with just me?
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
There's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon' be without me?
If you ain't here I just can't breathe
There's no air, no air
25.1.13
it ain't easy being a parent
yeap....melihat judulnya pasti semua berpikir, ahh ada lagi orang tua yang ngeluh. well! saya sih memang sudah tua (dibaca berumur saja yah) namun saya belum mempunyai pengalaman sebagai orang tua....mendamba seorang anak adalah impian saya, apalagi bisa dikaruniai kembar, its been a dream for long time. hanya saja dengan gaya hidup yang saya pilih sekarang nampaknya akan susah bagi saya untuk mewujudkan keinginan itu (at least untuk saat ini)
ok, kenapa saya ambil judul itu. ceritanya begini. saya adalah anak pertama dari dua bersaudara dan menurut orang tua saya, kami sudah cukup mewakili jadi tidak perlu ditambah lagi. saat ini kami sudah tumbuh dewasa namun masalah yg kami berikan/sodorkan ke orang tua kami cukup membuat mereka pusing tujuh keliling. maaf Pap, Mam, saya sedikit pun tidak pernah ingin membuat anda berdua kecewa.
Hari rabu kemarin (tgl 23 januari 2013) saya dan bapak saya tersayang (bapak R, yang terhormat) datang ke sebuah universitas non-negeri (ok, saya langsung aja bilang SWASTA) untuk menanyakan perkembangan studi adik kecil saya yang paling kami sayang, G. Saya baru menyadari ternyata bapak saya itu kurang mengikuti perkembangan pendidikan anak2nya. beliau tidak tahu kampus mana yg didatangi, jurusan apa anaknya yg kecil pelajari, dan tahun berapa dia masuk kuliah .... oooh itu sungguh sangat mengecewakan. setelah kita bertemu dengan bapak petugas TU nya yg bener (well gak bisa dibilang mudah untuk langsung menuju tempatnya juga.) kita jadi lebih kaget lagi. bapak itu menyodorkan salinan study adik saya selama ini dan nilai yg terpampang cukup mencengangkan...sebagian besar E . itu gila namanya, bunuh diri atau apalah sebutannya. gimana caranya dia kuliah sampe sang dosen harus memberi nilai E. dan yah sepertinya kesalahan bukan pada dosennya sih (mau meng-otak2an juga gak enak hati, mending makan otak2 aja lah).
separah itukah adik saya sampai sampai saya harus menutup muka saya karena merasa tertekan sekali dengan nilainya? trus apa guna dia kuliah selama ini? tidak ada jawaban keluar dari mulut sang empunya cerita. hanya keinginan yg sungguh2 (untuk saat ini, sepertinya loh) untuk bisa menyelesaikan studi. DAAAAH, itu sih sama dengan masuk kuliah semester awal lagi dong. setelah semua yg sudah dia minta, dan itu semua belum cukup?? saya bener2 harus bilang WOW kali ini, tanpa koprol aja yah.
masalah ini sempet runyam ketika bapak, dengan rasa ketidakpuasannya mencoba untuk menginterogasi adik tersayang itu. ada kekesalan yang teramat sangat di mata bapak saya...parahnya hal itu malah ditangkis oleh (lagi2) sang empunya masalah dengan melimpahkan kesalahan ke ibunda yang menurut dia, kurang mendukung dari segi finansial..WOW, bisa banget yah alasannya. yup dan sejak saat itu rumah sunyi senyap. si adik memilih untuk tetap berada di kamar sementara orang tua nya lebih memilih untuk ya-sudahlah-terserah-kamu-kinda style. berkali2 bapak memaksa saya untuk mencari tahu keinginan si kecil, but sorry sir anda salah orang, bukan saya yg bermasalah saat ini.
hingga malam ini, akhirnya orang tua saya memutuskan (masih) membayar uang kuliah semester ini. yup.....maaf kalo saya bilang ini tapi saya BENCI SEKALI dengan keputusan itu. tapi ya sudahlah, orang tua sudah bertitah jadi terserah mereka. saya juga sudah memutuskan untuk tidak mau terlibat lagi.
ya ini yg saya maksudkan..di satu sisi orang tua berkewajiban menuntaskan standart pendidikan di dunia namun ketika mereka melakukan itu, penentang terbesarnya justru dari anaknya yang lain. ada perlakuan yang tidak sepadan disini.ini aja anaknya baru 2...bagaimana dengan yang 5 orang atau lebih yah?.
and yes, ternyata sepintar apapun anda, belum bisa menjadikan jaminan bahwa anda layak dan mapu menjadi orang tua yang baik buat anak2 anda kelak. tapi saya masih ingin merasakan bahagianya menjadi seorang ayah. menikmati dan mengamati pertumbuhan anak2 saya kelak. menjadi figur yang jauh lebih baik dari apa yang sudah saya alami sekrang (orang tua saya hebat kok, hanya saja blum pas di hati saya). saya yakin Tuhan punya jawabannya kenapa saya merasa terbebani saat ini. hanya saja kadang, sisi manusiawi, saya ingin sekali Tuhan itu datang dan menjelaskan..'Ini loh dito, anak KU, apa yang harus kau lakukan demi keluargamu). saya juga tidak mengartikan bahwa saya tidak percaya dengan Tuhan, hanya saja...secara logis...ketika pesan itu disampaikan secara langsung pastinya akan mudah dicerna.
Papa Mama, saya mengerti bagaimana anda berdua berjuang dengan segenap daya dan upaya untuk memenuhi apa yang kami inginkan. bukan saya tidak ingin mengerti atau memahami tapi kadang bersikap tegas itu perlu dan semua dilakukan dengan terarah.dan saya ingin sekali anda bisa berbuat tegas dan adil sebagai contoh untuk kami anak2 kalian dalam kami nanti menghadapi kondisi yg jauh lebih buruk. dan teruntuk adik saya tercinta, seberapa besar saya membenci kamu...tetap saja kamu adik kecilku satu2nya yg wajib aku jaga. semoga ini bisa jadi sebuah lesson to learn buat kamu kedepan...tidak boleh ada setengah hati, tidak boleh ada main2.
hugs and kisses
Dito
ok, kenapa saya ambil judul itu. ceritanya begini. saya adalah anak pertama dari dua bersaudara dan menurut orang tua saya, kami sudah cukup mewakili jadi tidak perlu ditambah lagi. saat ini kami sudah tumbuh dewasa namun masalah yg kami berikan/sodorkan ke orang tua kami cukup membuat mereka pusing tujuh keliling. maaf Pap, Mam, saya sedikit pun tidak pernah ingin membuat anda berdua kecewa.
Hari rabu kemarin (tgl 23 januari 2013) saya dan bapak saya tersayang (bapak R, yang terhormat) datang ke sebuah universitas non-negeri (ok, saya langsung aja bilang SWASTA) untuk menanyakan perkembangan studi adik kecil saya yang paling kami sayang, G. Saya baru menyadari ternyata bapak saya itu kurang mengikuti perkembangan pendidikan anak2nya. beliau tidak tahu kampus mana yg didatangi, jurusan apa anaknya yg kecil pelajari, dan tahun berapa dia masuk kuliah .... oooh itu sungguh sangat mengecewakan. setelah kita bertemu dengan bapak petugas TU nya yg bener (well gak bisa dibilang mudah untuk langsung menuju tempatnya juga.) kita jadi lebih kaget lagi. bapak itu menyodorkan salinan study adik saya selama ini dan nilai yg terpampang cukup mencengangkan...sebagian besar E . itu gila namanya, bunuh diri atau apalah sebutannya. gimana caranya dia kuliah sampe sang dosen harus memberi nilai E. dan yah sepertinya kesalahan bukan pada dosennya sih (mau meng-otak2an juga gak enak hati, mending makan otak2 aja lah).
separah itukah adik saya sampai sampai saya harus menutup muka saya karena merasa tertekan sekali dengan nilainya? trus apa guna dia kuliah selama ini? tidak ada jawaban keluar dari mulut sang empunya cerita. hanya keinginan yg sungguh2 (untuk saat ini, sepertinya loh) untuk bisa menyelesaikan studi. DAAAAH, itu sih sama dengan masuk kuliah semester awal lagi dong. setelah semua yg sudah dia minta, dan itu semua belum cukup?? saya bener2 harus bilang WOW kali ini, tanpa koprol aja yah.
masalah ini sempet runyam ketika bapak, dengan rasa ketidakpuasannya mencoba untuk menginterogasi adik tersayang itu. ada kekesalan yang teramat sangat di mata bapak saya...parahnya hal itu malah ditangkis oleh (lagi2) sang empunya masalah dengan melimpahkan kesalahan ke ibunda yang menurut dia, kurang mendukung dari segi finansial..WOW, bisa banget yah alasannya. yup dan sejak saat itu rumah sunyi senyap. si adik memilih untuk tetap berada di kamar sementara orang tua nya lebih memilih untuk ya-sudahlah-terserah-kamu-kinda style. berkali2 bapak memaksa saya untuk mencari tahu keinginan si kecil, but sorry sir anda salah orang, bukan saya yg bermasalah saat ini.
hingga malam ini, akhirnya orang tua saya memutuskan (masih) membayar uang kuliah semester ini. yup.....maaf kalo saya bilang ini tapi saya BENCI SEKALI dengan keputusan itu. tapi ya sudahlah, orang tua sudah bertitah jadi terserah mereka. saya juga sudah memutuskan untuk tidak mau terlibat lagi.
ya ini yg saya maksudkan..di satu sisi orang tua berkewajiban menuntaskan standart pendidikan di dunia namun ketika mereka melakukan itu, penentang terbesarnya justru dari anaknya yang lain. ada perlakuan yang tidak sepadan disini.ini aja anaknya baru 2...bagaimana dengan yang 5 orang atau lebih yah?.
and yes, ternyata sepintar apapun anda, belum bisa menjadikan jaminan bahwa anda layak dan mapu menjadi orang tua yang baik buat anak2 anda kelak. tapi saya masih ingin merasakan bahagianya menjadi seorang ayah. menikmati dan mengamati pertumbuhan anak2 saya kelak. menjadi figur yang jauh lebih baik dari apa yang sudah saya alami sekrang (orang tua saya hebat kok, hanya saja blum pas di hati saya). saya yakin Tuhan punya jawabannya kenapa saya merasa terbebani saat ini. hanya saja kadang, sisi manusiawi, saya ingin sekali Tuhan itu datang dan menjelaskan..'Ini loh dito, anak KU, apa yang harus kau lakukan demi keluargamu). saya juga tidak mengartikan bahwa saya tidak percaya dengan Tuhan, hanya saja...secara logis...ketika pesan itu disampaikan secara langsung pastinya akan mudah dicerna.
Papa Mama, saya mengerti bagaimana anda berdua berjuang dengan segenap daya dan upaya untuk memenuhi apa yang kami inginkan. bukan saya tidak ingin mengerti atau memahami tapi kadang bersikap tegas itu perlu dan semua dilakukan dengan terarah.dan saya ingin sekali anda bisa berbuat tegas dan adil sebagai contoh untuk kami anak2 kalian dalam kami nanti menghadapi kondisi yg jauh lebih buruk. dan teruntuk adik saya tercinta, seberapa besar saya membenci kamu...tetap saja kamu adik kecilku satu2nya yg wajib aku jaga. semoga ini bisa jadi sebuah lesson to learn buat kamu kedepan...tidak boleh ada setengah hati, tidak boleh ada main2.
hugs and kisses
Dito
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